Saturday, February 17, 2018

Houlding On & Letting Go Inc

The weeks since Alex's death have been both sad and sweet - but also awfully busy. The number of things that need to be done to remember and celebrate him are probably familiar to many of you who have helped take care of things after a loved one dies. But it's all new to us - so we are striking out and making it up as we go along.

One of the things we have done is set up a nonprofit in Alex's Memory. As we searched for a name for it, the obvious choice is HOULDING ON & LETTING GO Inc.  (I guess the Inc. is just one of those things we need to have). The  money donated to this fund will help support Breck Homes as they continue to provide the best care imaginable in a dignified, respectful, and joyful way. This is our way to give back to the people who gave so much to us - and to provide some financial support to people who need their help and cannot afford it.

If you would like to help fund this effort in honor of Alex, your donation can be sent to: 4232 Lyndale Avenue South, Minneapolis, MN  55409 - or just given to one of the family members in person. I promise you, we will put this money to good use and help to "pay it forward." We have applied for our tax exemption, so by the time you are ready to file your 2018 taxes, your contribution will be tax-deductible (if that matters to you).
The other thing we have done in Alex's memory is donate his brain to Mayo Research - and this is something I would urge anyone who has a loved one afflicted by one of the "dementing" (Oh how I loathe that word) diseases - because so far, this is the single best way researchers can learn. The knowledge they will gain from this is to help our children and grandchildren and that is something Alex felt VERY strongly about!

Now it's done - his ashes sit in a beautiful wooden box lovingly made by his best friend, Craig. And some of them are wending their way to Ireland where they will add to the landscape at the Guinness Factory - another thing he would absolutely love.

We will all gather next weekend to reflect and remember and laugh and cry and celebrate all the wonderful things he was to us, and all that he so generously gave to all of us. His brother, sister, sister-in-laws, brother-in-law, nieces and nephews are coming from all over the country to be with us, and I can hardly wait to see them all!

The service starts at 2 p.m. on Saturday the 24th at the First Unitarian Society at 900 Mount Curve, Minneapolis. If you can be there, we would love to see you. There will be poetry and music and good stories and Guinness and I hope there will be a lot of laughter among the tears because that's how I will know that he is still a part of all of us who loved him.


2 comments:

  1. Hi Dawn,
    My name is Jenny and my husband has FTD. I have read almost your entire blog, some of it twice. Before I go on I’m going to post this and see if it works...

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  2. It worked.

    I’m not sure if you check this anymore but I wanted to tell you what a comfort... er, maybe kindred spirit, I have found in your writing. Yes, I think if we knew one another we might be kindred spirits. My husband is in the final stages of FTD but was only diagnosed a few weeks ago. We have two children, ages 8 and 11. Our story is tragic... it includes a divorce out of desperation and 15 months in a psychiatric home. I feel like I’m treading water in a rough sea, just staying afloat. But, with small children it’s important to be grounded. Anyway, I just wanted to reach out and say thank you for keeping this blog and that I’m sorry for the horribleness of this disease. It’s just plain awful. Please do NOT give any donation, but if you want, my story is on this website:
    https://www.youcaring.com/jennyellieandcolin-1140868

    I’ll keep you in my thoughts as you move through the first year without original Alex or Alex 2.0. Thanks again... you were my first bit of comfort in all this.

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